Body Love part 2. What parts of your lover’s body do you love the most?
I love this because I think some of us (myself included) spend so much time focusing on ourselves that we forget to take time and focus on our lovers. What are their insecurities and what are their concerns about their bodies? What do they like about themselves? And how often do we ask them? I’m sure this happens in relationships but in my past, I was neglectful of checking in with my partners. I was very skilled at complaining about myself and bolstering my poor body image. Rarely did I check in with them. I did tell them what I loved about them.
I was particularly neglectful in checking in with my ex-Dom about these things. He was always so confident and seemed so secure about himself. Because we were friends first I saw through some of the cracks and was able to talk to him about a few of his insecurities but he wasn’t good about talking about himself. What I love about him had little to do with his physical self. Although, his physical body was amazing to me. All parts of him. From his eyes to his cock, he was perfect for me. He was pretty impressed with his cock too so we had that in common. His eyes were dark and I saw his soul through them. I wonder if I was good enough about seeing and listening to the signs he was sending that he was insecure about.
The guy I am seeing now is a typical bad boy.
I call him my cowboy. He is quiet, reserved and usually only speaks when he has something to say. There is rarely mindless chatter. He has tattoos all over his body and I love looking at them. I see something new in them every time I see them. He is tall. I love that he is tall. Or maybe I love feeling short I am not sure. He works with his hands so they are rough, calloused and scarred. I love his hands. There are years worth of hard work etched all over those hands.
There is his cock. I have to admit I am not all about the size or whatever, if they know what to do with it, that is what matters to me. Having said this, he isn’t lacking in that area either. He has a piercing which was new for me. He has this large size gage that he picked out and stretched to fit. It was a project of his and I have to say he is cute as hell when he tells the story of how it came to be. It is enjoyable, to say the least, but that is for another post.
What I love isn’t always the most obvious.
As sexual as I am, what turns me on about this guy is his eyes. I have always been attracted to peoples eyes. Whether I am in a romantic or sexual relationship with them it is the first thing that attracts me. His eyes are a greenish brown color that catches the light in the most amazing ways. He never lost his “little boy” eyelashes so when he looks down at me they practically cover me like an umbrella.
What he doesn’t say with his words he speaks with his eyes. What I love about his eyes is that they speak his truth. Also, what I love about them is there is no shame in them. He makes eye contact with me when we talk and when we fuck. After the first time we made love he told me looking into my eyes while we were fucking was something he couldn’t get off his mind. That got me, and it was the first time anyone had ever said anything to me about my eyes. There are many things I like and even love about this guy but his eyes win me over every time.
What parts do you have trouble accepting?
Physically, there is nothing that I struggle with accepting. Part of that is that I wouldn’t want him to struggle with something about me that he didn’t want to talk to me about. I love his body, his eyes, his hands, his body art. Except for the spider web tattoo… not my favorite tattoo, but he likes it.
What I struggle accepting is how he lets people take advantage of him. That bad boy persona and “look” is all show. He has this huge heart. He trusts and get hurts and gives multiple chances. We have that in common. It is interesting to see yourself in others. It is also easy for me to have my opinions when I know how hard it is to turn people you care about away.
Part of that though is selfish on my part. I know this. Being the person I am I am not proud of the selfishness I have in this situation. Justifying my selfishness is knowing that if he could correct some of what is going on, I would have more time with him. We would have more time together to grow and see where things may be able to go. It’s complicated, but most things are. He has to make his own decisions in his own time and I can be there for support but being a benefactor of his changes makes it difficult to give advice that is neutral.
What I love is that we can talk.
For communication sake, whatever this relationship is with him it is the most honest I think I have ever had. It started open and honest and so far (as far as I know) it has stayed that way. We are direct and caring when we talk about things that are bothering us. Honestly, we don’t spend a lot of time together. When we do, it is a good open and honest conversation about everything. Life, our kids, sex, everything. He is better at than I am. I’m still working on my openness and directness.
I am trying to break bad habits and old patterns. Whether it is intentional or not, he is helping me with this.