This is an interesting prompt and as I read through how others approached it I was intrigued. Or, maybe I felt bad because I didn’t have the same reaction? Maybe where I am in my life right now prevents me from thinking outside my own box, I’m not sure. But when I saw “A guy is a guy”, as the prompt I thought to myself, I have a ton of shit to say about this. Before I had a chance to write anything I read a few other perspectives and it made me think differently.
Originally, my thought was “a guy IS a guy” totally based on my experience with them and my history. I pick certain people (not just men) for specific reasons. Or I did in the past. (Let’s be honest, I haven’t broken any patterns but I am working on it). All of my lovers have had similar characteristics (regardless if they were male or female) and all of those relationships started the same way. I supported them through a breakup and we ended up together. Yeah, I know…
I like specific things in people and I am not going to change that. I learned that these things are not gender specific. My spectrum has widened and I’m happy about that but I still like what I like. I learned quickly when I decided (it was a choice for me) to get into a relationship and eventually marry a woman. I entered the gay and lesbian community willingly and respectfully. It didn’t matter to me that I had been with guys, but it mattered to the lesbian friends of my then girlfriend. I wasn’t gay enough. Ok, I guess. I wasn’t going to change and I couldn’t change that I had been with men. I felt I was more respectful to them then they were to me.
Guy, girl, I understand it could be offensive
I know the title of the song is offensive to some and I don’t mean to be insensitive to that. I do think that we take the song for what it is and when it was written and recorded. Things change, times change, I get it. What I do think is that this song could have been titled a girl is a girl and we could have run down all the typical characteristics of females.
I have been in both communities as a bi-sexual woman and I feel strongly that characteristics are not gender based. Yes, there are titles for those. Titles and labels I don’t like and I actually find offensive. Labeling people as specific anything is annoying to me. I was offended at the labels people put on me because of my decisions and choices. Some say labels are necessary, that we have to identify as something.
When this was an issue for me I was chastised for claiming to be bi-sexual. My wife was horribly offended. She wanted me to be a lesbian. I was asked to label myself and when I did, it wasn’t good enough and it offended her. So what should I have said? I have never liked labels and I still don’t. For me or anyone else. I understand that some feel like they need them and want them and I don’t judge anyone for that.