The past two days have been cloudy and gloomy. The rain started in the afternoon and was still falling. The mood of the day matched the feel of the house. Exhausted and mixed with emotions I fell into bed early even though I didn’t have to be at work tomorrow. Normally I sleep with the television on but I was too tired to even reach for the remote. That is bad for you anyway, right?
As exhausted as I was I couldn’t fall asleep. There were many thoughts running through my head and heart. It was all very heavy like a blanket that was made of wool, warm but scratchy. I tossed and turned so badly, even the dog was frustrated with me and went to the floor to finish his sleep.
It was hot in my room even with the AC on low. Tossing and turning were becoming a workout and I couldn’t find a restful position. I finally settled on propped pillows and put my hair in a ponytail. Maybe that would help. I looked at the clock that shown its time on the ceiling. I had been struggling to sleep for two hours.
Frustrated, I got out of bed and walked over to the rain-streaked window looking outside at the darkness that covered my back yard.
The neighbor’s spotlight from the back gave a mysterious glow. It was luring me in some ways. I grabbed my robe and slippers and headed out to the back yard. It was raining steadily. More than a mist but not pouring. The grass was soaked from the day of rain and my feet sank into the soil. I walked to the patio where I had not yet placed the furniture and stood there so the grass wouldn’t make my ankles itchy. Sitting down on the deck tile I looked up and let the rain hit my face. It was a little humid and muggy outside but it was cool as it pelted lightly on my face.
I sat there slowly getting soaked through my robe and feeling the cool water trickle down my back. The rain felt good on my body. Letting my robe fall off my shoulders, pulling the hair band off and letting my hair fall, I closed my eyes and let the rain wash over me. Trying to clear my mind and just be in the moment.
Laying down on the deck tile felt good to my warm skin. The parts of my body the rain had not touched were cooled by the deck tile and the little puddles that had gathered in the low areas of the deck. Being in the rain makes the bugs less noticeable. At least those that fly and bite and annoy during the heat of the day. Not allowing my mind to think of the insects that thrive at night, I laid on the tile with my body exposed to the rain and cool air.
Laying there, I felt lighter.
The weight of the day and the mood of the house could not touch me in the middle of the patio. My hair wet with rain and my body exposed felt naughty and I was happy for an emotion I didn’t need to process or analyze. I was in the moment, enjoying the moment, enjoying myself.
I allowed my hands to roam my body. Pinching my nipples. Grabbing my breast. Causing my own pain if ever so slightly. Spreading my legs to allow my hand to travel down and gently rub between my legs. Finding my vulva and spreading the lips of my pussy to let the rain drip in the crevices and folds. Stroking myself lightly and gently I felt my body start to slowly relax.
The rain running over the outside of me and the tingling feeling my fingers were sending through the inside of it was exciting, relaxing, just what I needed. I lay there, clearing my mind and focusing on being in the moment with myself. The sadness of the house couldn’t touch me. The challenges of the week couldn’t stop me. I was completely focused on myself and the rain and release of every tight muscle in my body.