June 1st. It will forever be known as the day after my daughters birthday. I never looked at it as the first day of the last half of the year. I have been a bit “off the grid” lately. I wish I could explain why but I just have been feeling off. I could list all the things that I feel are the reason for my distance but I am not sure they are valid or even the actual reasons. I have sat to write a few times and the blank page is threatening. I am not sure what it is threatening, it just is.
Running through my emails I saw Molly’s post about the feeling of June 1 and how she thought this year would go, and how it didn’t. This resonated with me. Again, I am not sure why it just did. So I decided that I would join the #everydamndayinjune meme this year.
I am hopeful that this half of the year will be better than the first half. It isn’t that the first half was horrible. It was actually pretty good. I am slowly recovering from my break up, attended Eroticon, made wonderful friends online, and have written more and hopefully improved my writing.
I rarely feel sorry for myself. Self-pity was something I never had time for. Some days, I feel bad about how things are going, but I usually don’t spend a lot of time thinking about “poor me”. I do spend time thinking about how I can make things better. I try to focus on the positive and change the negative as best as I can become positive.
The little things bothering me are perhaps things I can’t let go of and I hope to change that. Until then, I will write #everydamndayinjune