Prompt #11: Sex Ed
What were you taught about sex as you grew up?
Well, I love my mother, she was only doing what she could. I was handed pamphlets, some pads (tampons were not discussed until much later) and she said if I had any questions I could ask. There was very little about sex and more about monthly periods. There was a slight mention of getting pregnant being more likely if you have your period. I remember in school watching a girl bully the really quiet kid. To this day, I still remember both of their names. She was asking him if he played with himself and came on himself. I remember wondering what she meant and asked my older sister. The rest I gleaned from what the girls in the locker room were talking about.
The mother of a 5-year-old and divorced, I started to become inquisitive. A man I started dating was pretty diverse and we talked about a lot of things that I had never thought of. This would include sex with women, being tied up, and getting high before sex, among other things. He was probably the one that figured out why I had never had an orgasm during sex. He turned out to be a jerk, but I can thank him for that much I guess.
What did you not know that you wished you’d known?
I wish so many things about my education on sex. I wish I had known what was possible and that sex wasn’t bad. That it was okay to enjoy and actually like sex. I wish I had known that my desires were valid and nothing to be ashamed of. That watching porn was ok. Most importantly, I wish I had known that talking about what you want, especially with your partner was not only okay but required.
What/how did you teach yourself? Who taught you the most?
The first person that gave me a voice without judgment was the guy I started dating mentioned above. He couldn’t believe I was as nieve as I was. I watched a lot of porn and actually did a lot of studying and researching different things that I thought I may or not be interested in. Once I started being comfortable with talking about my desires, it was my ex-Dom that I give the most credit to. He didn’t only talk to me about my desires but also helped me understand that I was submissive and what that meant. He helped me figure out a lot of things and filled in a few blanks that were there. It is a never-ending evolution.
One thing my lack of education taught me was that I didn’t want my daughter to have the same experience. I was open with her from the start, and as I learned I taught her. There are some that would say I told her too much too soon. I don’t think so. I always put it in terms appropriate for her age. She is well rounded, well educated, and has no problem speaking her mind and telling people what she wants. I am proud of myself for sparing her some of what I went through and proud of her for being mature enough to not only accept the information but apply it to her own life.