What were you taught about sex as you grew up?

Prompt #11: Sex Ed

What were you taught about sex as you grew up?

Well, I love my mother, she was only doing what she could.  I was handed pamphlets, some pads (tampons were not discussed until much later) and she said if I had any questions I could ask.  There was very little about sex and more about monthly periods.  There was a slight mention of getting pregnant being more likely if you have your period.  I remember in school watching a girl bully the really quiet kid.  To this day, I still remember both of their names.  She was asking him if he played with himself and came on himself.  I remember wondering what she meant and asked my older sister.   The rest I gleaned from what the girls in the locker room were talking about.

The mother of a 5-year-old and divorced, I started to become inquisitive.  A man I started dating was pretty diverse and we talked about a lot of things that I had never thought of.  This would include sex with women, being tied up, and getting high before sex, among other things.  He was probably the one that figured out why I had never had an orgasm during sex.  He turned out to be a jerk, but I can thank him for that much I guess.

What did you not know that you wished you’d known?

I wish so many things about my education on sex.  I wish I had known what was possible and that sex wasn’t bad.  That it was okay to enjoy and actually like sex.  I wish I had known that my desires were valid and nothing to be ashamed of.  That watching porn was ok.  Most importantly, I wish I had known that talking about what you want, especially with your partner was not only okay but required.

What/how did you teach yourself? Who taught you the most?

The first person that gave me a voice without judgment was the guy I started dating mentioned above.   He couldn’t believe I was as nieve as I was.  I watched a lot of porn and actually did a lot of studying and researching different things that I thought I may or not be interested in.  Once I started being comfortable with talking about my desires, it was my ex-Dom that I give the most credit to. He didn’t only talk to me about my desires but also helped me understand that I was submissive and what that meant.  He helped me figure out a lot of things and filled in a few blanks that were there.  It is a never-ending evolution.

One thing my lack of education taught me was that I didn’t want my daughter to have the same experience.  I was open with her from the start, and as I learned I taught her.  There are some that would say I told her too much too soon.  I don’t think so.  I always put it in terms appropriate for her age.  She is well rounded, well educated, and has no problem speaking her mind and telling people what she wants.  I am proud of myself for sparing her some of what I went through and proud of her for being mature enough to not only accept the information but apply it to her own life.




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