I touched a little on this when I wrote about Erotic Journal Challenge #7 – Distress, at least as it relates to porn. I never watched porn until much later in my life where I could actually watch it and enjoy it and not feel guilty about watching it. I try and categorize it in two different sections. Porn to get off and romantic sexual content that I enjoy watching (and can also get off).
- Porn to get off – This is hardcore porn. Somethings I watch are things I do. Somethings I watch are things I am interested in. These are porn videos or movies that I either do myself or am interested in trying and watch for pleasure but also for educational purposes! I enjoy them and can get off to them, but I am also interested in seeing how others handle situations and scenes. It is also a place where I can work some of what I see into my own stories. Somethings I watch are things I would never do but still manage to get off. These are the things that I watch, carefully. They are usually pretty dark. Not things I want to be a part of but I am intrigued in them. Also, this helps me with my own stories and writing descriptions of scenes in my own writing.
- Romantic sexual content that I enjoy watching – I am such a combination of things. Perhaps it is still me trying to sort out my sensual desires as I came to most of them late in life. All the kinky things I like are extremely new. I enjoy watching movies that have this element. However, I am also a romantic at heart. I like the sweet stories of love and growth. Although admittedly, these days I tend to roll my eyes over most of it these days as this romantic realm has eluded me quite a bit. Maybe my standards are too high in this area. While I say I haven’t had much of this, I can look back at my two major relationships and see there was romance there. There flowers and sweet moments. I guess we tend to focus on the bad when things end. I remember when Sir picked me up at the airport one time, he has flowers. My favorite flower. No reason, he just did it. That is romance. I also remember that same night, we had extremely passionate sex. The combination was the best night ever. Those are the types of movies I like and look for but I don’t find them often. When I was with my wife, we watched the L word. That was probably as close as I have come to what I like. Although the richness and the extremeness that series had was worthy of an eye roll. I was new to the lesbian community and I tended to laugh at the concepts portrayed. None of that kind of stuff was happening in my neck of the woods, but hey, it was based in LA so there is that!
I want to watch real-life typical stories. There was a joke going around on Facebook that if Christian Grey hadn’t been a billionaire, then the movies would be more like episodes of Criminal Minds. While this was funny it was also true. So by real life I mean I want to see movies of couples in D/s relationships that actually work, raise their kids, have money struggles, worry about their parent’s health and at times are too tired for sex. Those that don’t always show the outfits and the perfect hair and makeup, but that depicted a more normal middle class, everyday folks, kind of stories.
Having said all of that, to be honest, I don’t really look for movies that have what I want. I like movies but rarely go to the theater to see them and I rarely seek out movies for their erotic content. Most recently, I have been obsessed with the recent remake of A Star Is Born. Having been a fan of the one with Barbara Streisand and Chris Christopherson, I was apprehensive about this new remake. Watching it, I was struck at the romance and love story, again, in this new revision. I was deeply struck by the music as well. So, I guess if they had had kinky sex, it would have been the perfect movie for me!