She stared at the screen. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. No thoughts. No ideas. Blocked. Nothing. The hum of the neighborhood activity was subtle but noticeable. Maybe that was the problem. She walked across the room and switched on the fan. It wasn’t warm inside. It was the perfect temperature. October finally brought the cooler weather. The neighborhood had started decorating for fall. The contrast of pumpkins and straw in yellows and orange colors to the Holloween decorations of witches and spider webs and skeletons littered her street. She should make an effort of some sort in one way or the other.
She was naked. She was usually naked when at home at night. It was a habit. One from the past but not one she was ready to break. The writing was on the schedule. Follow the schedule. That didn’t always mean the writing would be successful but she had to follow the schedule. Maybe the white noise from the fan was what she needed to not be blocked anymore. She walked across the room and switched on the fan. Settling back down at the laptop, fingers poised over the keys… nope nothing.
Maybe her expectations were too high. It had been a rough day. More memories of the past. More issues with the family. More drama at work. More everything. She needed a break. She needed to clear her head. She shut the laptop, wrapped her robe around her and walked out to the back deck. The air was cool and there was a breeze that felt good on her skin. She sat down in the chair and lit the cinnamon scented candle on the table. She started mentally making a list of fall type things she needed to do. She thought she should get her phone and make notes. No. She needed a clear head. No thinking, no planning, not a phone or laptop. She closed her eyes. The breeze seemed to be getting stronger and even cooler. Her body felt warm under the robe.
She loosened the knot on the tie around her waist. She was suddenly aware that she didn’t want her robe on. Clearing her mind had always been difficult. She tried meditation and everything but she always had a million thoughts flying through her mind. She wanted the cool air on her body. She stood from the chair, opening her robe and let it fall to the ground. She was exposed. That was one more thought in her brain. Then the following; could the neighbors see her, did she care, yes she did, no she didn’t, would they like what they saw, would they call the police to report her, did she care, yes she did, no she didn’t… her mind would not stop.
She stepped off the deck. The grass was wet from the previous rain and the night dew. Her feet sank into the soil. It was soggy, muddy. It was cooler then she thought it would be, but it wasn’t unbearable. Her normal body temperature was typically cool and she was always cold. Tonight it was welcomed. She was hot inside. She needed relief from the thoughts that swarmed her head. Or did she need the release.
Her thoughts of him came to the front of her brain. She had worked hard all week to keep them at bay. Tonight, naked in the moonlight with the cold soil under her feet and the threat of exposure her filters were thin, her defenses were down. She allowed him to come to her. His face first. The smile that always said he wanted her. His voice second. The voice that said “good girl” when she had done well. Then his touch. That touch that always made her feel alive.
She closed her eyes and allowed the thoughts and memories to invade her. She pulled memories from different times they had been together. Her body was hotter now. She felt the heat between her legs. She heard his voice, “on your knees,” and she knelt in the wet grass. His hands were on her. Squeezing her nipples gently at first, then with added pressure. His hands went to her pussy and she gasped at his fingers entering her. His fingers running up her body leaving a trail of her juices behind. He whispers, “on your back”. She lays back and feels the cold wet grass on her back. Her mind is reeling. It is ok now. He is here. He is with her. She stretches out on the grass. Her eyes are still closed but she knows the moon is shining on her body. Her hand reaches for her clit. She wants to come so badly. His voice again, “I didn’t tell you to play with your pussy”. She remembers the time she was chastised for touching herself without permission. “I’m sorry Sir” she whispers out loud. His voice again, “Its ok my slut”. His hands again, inside her pussy, stroking her, one finger, two fingers, three fingers. She feels fuller, wetter. Her clit is pulsing and she is aching. His smell this time, the cologne, Cold Water for men. Strong like him. subtle like him. His hand again, inside her, the other squeezing her nipple, hard this time. Pinching her nipple between his thumb and middle finger. There was more pressure that way, he liked using his middle finger. She felt electric from her cunt to her nipple, a constant current. She pressed her back into the soil. Her hips raised. His voice again, “Don’t you dare come”. Her eyes rolled back in her head. She was going to come. She was going to defy him. She couldn’t help herself. The current through her body was unbearable. His laugh this time, low and slightly evil. His voice, “you can’t help yourself can you little slut?” She raised her hips, digging her heels into the ground feeling the pressure on her shoulders as the weight of her body shifted. His fingers on her clit, his voice in her ear, his smell, his breath, him touching her, fucking her, squeezing her. Surrounded by him. She felt the intense pressure on her clit. It was swelling, stinging. She felt her orgasm coming. Her legs tightened as her hips raised higher. Her back arching and her shoulders pressing harder into the ground. Her body started to shutter, slowly at first, then faster and more intense. She wasn’t sure if it was her body or the ground shaking. Fingers on her clit, rubbing in circles, fast and with pressure. The trembling in her legs made it hard to keep her hips raised but she couldn’t lower them or the orgasm would stop. His smell was stronger. His voice in her ear, “now, baby, come now.” Finally the permission she needed. She pushed her hips as high as she could. She clenched her teeth to stop the scream forcing through her throat. Clenching her lips tight as the orgasm rocked her body, the noise came forth as a moan deep in her throat. Her legs gave out and her hips hit the ground with force.
She rolled to her side and pulled her legs to her as she curled herself into a ball. The orgasm still pulsing through her as arms wrapped around her knees. Her pussy clenching closed as the last of the orgasm left her body. She laid there until her body was still. Feeling the last of the orgasm leave her body with the last clench of her pussy she tried to move. She was panting. Quiet moans, whimpers, passing her lips. Her legs were heavy. Her stomach muscles were tight and she willed them to relax as her breathing went back to normal. She slowly started to stretch out her legs. They were cramped and fought movement. Her mind slowing now. Her breathing normal now. She pushed her body up to a sitting position. Her hair was wet, a mix of dew from the ground and sweat from her body. She was cold now. The tremors of the orgasm now replaced with shivers from the cold air and wet ground. She opened her eyes. His touch, his voice, his smell, gone. She was alone. He had fucked her through her mind, through her thoughts and memories of him.
She felt the come drain from her as her body shifted positions. It was warm in contrast to her body temperature. She reached down to catch it in her fingers before it was lost to the grass. She rubbed it into her skin. Just as she had done so many times before with his come. This time it was only her hands, her touch, her come.