D/s Drop

Have you ever felt a drop after kinky play?

I have. We didn’t have huge long scenes often.  Our timing was difficult.  I remember the scene and I remember being so focused on my body.  More so than ever before.  I wasn’t worried about the way my body looked, the fat moving around, none of the normal things.  I was so focused on what was being done and how my body was responding.  When it was over, I feel apart emotionally.  It was a couple of days before I was back to normal.  It was a strange feeling of pride, sadness, longing, missing him, needing him, not knowing what to do with myself, confusion, clarity, etc.  I was a hot mess and I didn’t realize why.  Our situation made it difficult for him to take care of me how he would like and how I needed him to.  We didn’t plan for it and since I didn’t know what was happening, I didn’t know what to do or ask for.  I didn’t talk to him about it because I didn’t want to bother him. Knowing now, what that was is a comfort that I wasn’t losing my mind.  Not having him anymore makes me almost wish I could feel it again and to have that experience again.  Hopefully I will again soon, and hopefully it will be a situation that it can be handled differently.  Knowledge is power.  

 Can you come up with some ways you might help yourself or your partner through it?

I want to make sure that if it happens again I am prepared.  I have to say in a strange way I didn’t mind going through it.  I wish I had known more back then and could have processed it for what it was.  The other perspective is that I spend 95% of my time hiding my feelings and emotions.  I rarely let people see what is truly going on, even though, I wear my heart on my sleeve.  Contradiction?  Yes.  I will tell anyone what they want to know, and I am an open book.  But I rarely tell you how deeply I feel about things.  Sub-drop allowed me to feel everything and took my power of masking everything away.  If it happens again, I hope that I can process it through with my Dom and get the care I need.  I’m not sure how that will look but I know I will need more after care than my last situation allowed.  That isn’t a statement on him, but on me and what I am willing to accept and need to ask for, require.  It is a rare for me to allow myself to be so open about my pain, physical and emotional.

 

Thoughts provoked by Loving BDSM

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