How many chapters is a good amount for a book?  Tewnty?  Thirty?   I guess it’s based on the information or story you are trying to tell .  Then how many chapters in a lifetime is a good amount?

I break my life down in chapters . When something ends I always say it is the end of a chapter to prepare myself for the next . My life has many chapters so far and I am about to start another one . Some of the chapters blend smoothly into the next . Some have abrupt ends and startling beginnings.

No matter the reason the change and shift to the next chapter fills me with anxiety and worry . This chapter is no different.   I wish I could be excited.  I wish I could look forward positively and with hope and enthusiasium.  I fear the newness as an unsure change.

So I “cowgirl up” and all the plans I had will wait.   All the hopes I had will fade.  I will keep my mask on and move through the day as the positive person the world thinks I am.  And the fear will stay behind the mask . Until I am alone.

On to the next chapter!

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